Beauty Queens update #2: Review

Saturday, February 9, 2013
I am D-O-N-E with Beauty Queens by Libba Bray! 

So are y'all ready for my review? 'Cuz I am!

Beauty Queens by Libba Bray

Rating: ***** stars! Woot! Woot!

Initial reaction after reading this book:

This book was so freaking hilarious, I can't even begin to describe it. But you know, I'll try. I wasn't sure whether or not to give this 5 stars, but I decided on 5. It is a bit of a stretch, and you'll see what I mean in the good and bad of this book.

The Good:

1. The Layout.

I love books with the layout like Beauty Queens. Little footnotes, commercial breaks, segments from TV shows, and little fun fact pages. It made this book all the more fun to read, and all the more enjoyable. Even though there is not much to write about the layout, it was a HUGE factor in whether or not this book got a good rating. And also, the fact that there were so many characters might've gotten on my nerves, had Libba Bray not made it so easy to follow. Every time there was a fun fact page on one of the beauty queens, the following chapters would revolve around them. GENIUS! :) Oh also, I love all the fake products and TV shows that Libba Bray comes up with. 

2. The Plot.

As far as originality goes, OH. SHIT. I have NEVER read a book with a plot that even fractionally resembles that of this one. Like, seriously. Beauty queens with AK-47s shooting people and breaking necks? Count me in! 
So basically, what happens is a bunch of teenagers are on a plane on their way to compete in the Miss Teen Dream Beauty Pageant, when due to a faulty navigation or something like that, the plane crashes on a deserted (or so they thought), island. At first, they keep hope that they will be rescued, and keep practicing for the pageant like little angels and I'm all like, "BLERGH you Mary-Sues." And then they start to use what little supplies they have to thrive, and they start acting like super-awesome-ninjas-of-awesome and I am like:

So yeah. That's all I expected from this book, but NOPE. It delivered a bunch of reality TV star pirates, a nonexistent republic, James Bond-esque gadgets and secret lairs, an evil corporation, a twisted beauty queen of this past, an Elvis impersonating dictator with a taxidermied lemur, and a huge heap of BUTT-KICKING. If we are not clear, the butt-kicking is done by the beauty queens. Like, you tell me. Can YOU think of a book that contained this stuff? NO! You can't! Okay? So don't even try to think of one!

3. The Humor.

This book may be one of the funniest I have ever read. It was SO FUNNY. The section that made me laugh the hardest was this one, after one of the bad guys gets hit with darts that make you act loopy:

(pg. 364) "'Serape means cape!' A grinning Agent Jones burst into the room wearing only a fig leaf. He threw his arms into the air and stretched his fingers into peace signs. 'We are all beautiful star flowers!'
'What the hell?' Jennifer said.
Ladybird squinted. 'Agent Jones?'
'Who is that unfortunate man?' Sinjin asked.
'The corporation agent who tried to kill us,' Petra explained.
Sinjin took in the sight of the man in the fig leaf trying to commune with the ergo chair. He raised an eyebrow.
'He had on more clothes,' Petra said.
Agent Jones put a finger to his mouth. 'Agent Jones is gone. I am Man Flower.'
'Agent Jones,' Ladybird barked.
'Man Flower.'
'Agent Jones, I am trying to quiet the hideous screaming I feel inside just looking at you. It's a shame that after all your years of dutiful service, you will not be able to partake in the pension plan. Not that it matters; we're cutting that anyway.'
Agent Jones held Sinjin's face in his hands. 'I'm going to make balloon animals. People need balloon animals.'"

Hold on a second. I'm still laughing. And if you are not laughing you do not have a soul. Just kidding. :)

4. The Characters

Again with the originality. Stop it Libba Bray. You're killing me! This book had such a wide assortment of characters of all different races, religions, homes, everything was so ORIGINAL!!!!!!!! Each one had their own secrets, strengths, and weaknesses, and each was different. I loved watching them all bond and develop, and seeing them not caring what anyone thinks of them. Because that's a problem I have. I know people tell you that you shouldn't, but I do care what people think of me. This book is quite inspiring in that sense.

The Bad:

1. The Romance/overall appropriateness

Ew. I love this book and all, but some of the romance made me go like:

And even though this book is teen, it still wasn't the most appropriate of books. I was wincing! BLECH.

So even though appropriateness is a huge factor for me, I decided to let it slide and gave this book 5 stars and a spot on my favorites shelf.

To read or not to read?

READ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

And there you have it! My review!!!! I have not decided what I am going to read next but as soon as I figure it out, I will post what book. And yes I am still reading Hoot.

Adios! :)


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